Essays On Mothers

Essays On Mothers-41
In October 2017, Michele Filgate published an essay on Longreads entitled “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About.” Years in the writing, the piece discussed the abuse that Filgate suffered at the hands of her stepfather and how her mother’s silence protected him, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the relationship between the two women.The response to her work was the definition of viral, being shared on social platforms by the likes of Rebecca Solnit, Lidia Yuknavitch and many others.That was Filgate’s goal in putting together the book.

In October 2017, Michele Filgate published an essay on Longreads entitled “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About.” Years in the writing, the piece discussed the abuse that Filgate suffered at the hands of her stepfather and how her mother’s silence protected him, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the relationship between the two women.The response to her work was the definition of viral, being shared on social platforms by the likes of Rebecca Solnit, Lidia Yuknavitch and many others.That was Filgate’s goal in putting together the book.

In this way, even in exploring what people don’t talk about with their mothers, the actual mother gets left behind.

Of course, while it is possible to draw patterns, ultimately shows us fifteen ways that fifteen people understand their mothers.

She helps me in my all school homework tasks like a friend. She is always ready to give great sacrifices for us. I always pray for the health and long life of my mother.

My mother is always worried about all the things about me. Though she works all the day in our house yet she never complains about it.

Writers like Melissa Febos and Alexander Chee seek to protect their mothers from the pain in their own lives rather than idealizing their mothers as protectors.

Julianna Baggott admits that what she and her mother don’t talk about is, well, not much—her contribution is called “Nothing Left Unsaid.” Some mothers seem cruel for no reason, but oftentimes what seems like cruelty on the surface is explained by trauma, by mental illness, by their own narratives that they’ve told themselves about how to be a woman and a caregiver.

Cathi Hanauer—herself an editor of a collection of essays, the New York Times best-selling describes the domineering behavior of her father.

She recalls how he refused to allow Hanauer to speak to her mother alone on the phone, how he would answer for her mother even when Hanauer asked a question he couldn’t answer about something like pregnancy or her mother’s blueberry tart recipe, and if he didn’t have anything to say he would react loudly to whatever was on TV until they included him again.

Hanauer is frustrated with her father, but more than that, she’s frustrated with her mother for letting him get away with it.

Despite her father’s “temper and volatility, narcissism, need to control and dominate,” she admits that he is “intelligent, sometimes funny, and up on everything.” Of course, people are complicated, and it is fair for Hanauer to acknowledge that, but at the same time, she seems to allow much more room for her father to be complicated than for her mother.

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