Owl Writing Personal Essay

You also do a good job of considering "the opposing viewpoint" and introducing relevant arguments to substantiate your position.

One area I would suggest giving a little more attention to how exactly AHANA functions.

For example, you might spend more time talking about Millhauser's rationale--WHY does he think the monster should have been presented as a brutal beast throughout? Why is it better that Shelley shows the monster in terms of growth and progression?

You introduce this idea in your introduction, arguing that Shelley is deliberately playing with the reader's sympathies, for the monster and for Frankenstein. What is the effect of the reader's divided sympathies?

It's fine to start with a vivid scene to land the reader in the event, but then it makes sense to step back and tell the story as it happened.

To help you accomplish this end, you might consider listing each of the major points you want to cover and then turning them into an outline.It did, however, lack clarity and definition at some points.Specifically, there are some concepts that you repeat throughout your paper but never define.You've touched on some interesting issues in this paper, and there is definitely plenty of room for you to develop them even further.If you have any questions about anything I've said, or any further questions, please feel free to write back to me.For example, look at this paragraph: [...] Everything that I've noted with square brackets is plot summary.The sentence that begins "Feeling rejected, the creature wanders away..." is borderline because you're making a judgment about the creature's motivations, but in general you shouldn't spend time repeating the events of the story.Some theoretical questions you may want to consider on this point include: what is the difference between a republican leader and a tyrannical leader? What does it mean to "be subordinate to a republican role"? What ideas do you reference but never fully explain? If you find such problems, generating a list of questions to focus your idea (as above) can be a helpful exercise.There were two more areas I found especially lacking in definition: the concept of tyranny and a "short time in office." Thank you again for submitting your paper to the OWL.The "chalky taste" of the air, for instance, is a detail that really brings the scene to life.You asked for help with structure, and I think the most sensible structure in this case is a chronological one.

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