Poor opening statement: I once worked in a hotel behind a bar. There wasn’t much for me to learn, and I didn’t feel particularly fulfilled in life. For what seemed the hundredth time that evening, I glanced at the clock only to find that the minute hand had barely moved since I last checked.As I stood behind the musty deserted bar in a run-down hotel that had seen better days, I suddenly wondered how it had all come to this.But to stand out among the thousands of applicants who apply for graduate school every year, your statement of purpose needs to be polished, coherent, and remarkable.
The hook shouldn’t be telling the reader how to feel. When you write your personal statement, instead of relaying the events of your life in a dull and rote fashion, you should progress from your hook to tell the review committee the story of how you have got to where you are today and how you decided where you want to be in the future.
The quickest and easiest way to hook someone into any piece of writing is to make them feel like they actually experienced an event for themselves. As such, when you’re writing your personal statement, make sure you shoot for an opening like example one. We come across a lot of admission statement opening paragraphs that read like this: Having completed my undergraduate studies in chemistry and gained practical work experience in the medical setting, I am now keen to progress my academic career further by completing a master’s degree in microbiology and making a difference to the lives of others From the very first time I looked down a microscope and saw the way the cartilage cells were shaped and positioned within the cartilage matrix, I was hooked.
Review what you've written and make sure it still makes sense and conveys what you want it to. Sometimes you need to write a couple of drafts to get your essay right where you want it. No matter how good your essay, if people can't read your handwriting they won't appreciate the work. You want to make sure you've used proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, so ask an expert to proofread your essay. Ask your friends and family to read your essay and tell you what they think.
Be open to suggestions and ways to improve it, even if this means going back to the drawing board. You want to edit your essay down to what is important.
It will also help you organize your thoughts and develop a framework. Be conscious of any length limits, and, if the topic is provided for you, analyze the question carefully.
You want to be aware of everything they ask and answer everything thoroughly. Don't use big words just for the sake of using big words. Remember, this essay is about you, so use words you normally use.
The college essay offers you an opportunity to tell admissions officers a bit about you and demonstrate why you'd be a good fit for their student body. If you need to pick the topic, be focused and specific.
It can seem daunting to get your essay off the ground, but take it step by step with these tips. Your college essay is all about showcasing yourself. Writing about a single experience is usually a good idea; your essay should prove a single point or message.
You could say: In the summer of 2011, myself and 32 additional volunteers participated in an initiative that aimed to retrofit the houses that were seriously damaged during the 2010 earthquake in Haiti.
In total, we helped 55 families to upgrade their homes and strengthen them against future natural disasters.